October 31, 2010

Topaz Review of JAVA MONSTER: Mean Bean

In this review I will refer to JAVA MONSTER Mean Bean, as simply, "Mean Bean."
Mean Bean really packs a punch. With the taurine, and guarana seed extract from regular Monsters, and strong coffee combined, you wake up almost instantly after sipping one.

The taste of coffee is drowned in the heavy cream and sucralose, and the only real coffee flavor comes from the nutty aftertaste. Even then it's not exceptional coffee, although it does do what it was intended to do. It leaves a mingling flavor long after you drink it, and is best covered up with a mint or two. This is definitely not the beverage for you if you like your coffee with anything other than loads of cream and sugar. You can't taste any sort of energy-drink flavor here, even though it is Monster brand. That's good, considering an energy-drink/coffee flavor hybrid would be pretty nasty tasting.

The good thing is that Mean Bean has absolutely no carbonation, although it comes in the same type of can that regular Monsters do. Mean Bean is really creamy, and is smooth going down the esophagus. That feeling that there is a film of cream on your tongue does linger though, and can become bothersome. All in all, pretty good, not impressive.

The first thing you notice about the can is that it sports the good old Monster logo. But wait... Something isn't right here! It looks as if the "Monster" clawed his way into some nicely upholstered wood! Naughty! Odd that the wood has a pattern on the top, almost like a rug. It looks nice, although a bit gimmicky. It helps to separate itself from the normal flavors of Monster though, so people don't mistakenly buy a coffee drink when they meant to buy something else. The font is very cool looking, with harsh, sharp edges. The letters have a very dark red middle, with a black border. This looks really cool in person, as they seem to "pop" away from the can. The Monster slash also seems to be indented. As for marketing, the guys behind this are geniuses. There is some propaganda on the back, stating how Mean Bean has a "Take no prisoners attitude" whatever that means. The way the can looks, with the wood feel, draws in the customer who is in desperate need of a pick-me-up. Bravo.

I was definitely roused from my drowsiness by the time I had my second sip of Mean Bean. The combination of both taurine, and guarana seed extract, mixed with coffee seems almost like overkill. I assure you that it is. I'm not looking forward to the crash that is looming in the future. It works people, it works well. I don't recommend drinking this while driving though, for what I hope are obvious reasons.

I had a good time with Mean Bean, and it certainly did what it is intended to do. It woke me up, made me more alert, etc. I wasn't partial to its taste, nor was I fond of the texture. Although, if you're going to buy one of these drinks, it won't be for the flavor. You'll be hard pressed to find a stronger energy drink on the market.

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