Topaz BONUS Review of BIG BLUE

Comment if you've heard of it!

If you don't live in the southern United States or Tahiti, you probably don't know about Big Blue, a curious little cream soda drink. The company that manufactures Big Blue is most famous for creating Big Red, the drink from which Big Blue was derived from. Seeing as I've never had the chance to consume a bottle of Big Red, there is no possible way for me to compare them. After some research, it seems as if Big Red tastes the same as Big Blue, with the only difference being the color. Once I get my hands on some Big Red I'll update you guys with a comparison.

TASTE
Now some people say that Big Blue tastes like bubble gum, which is true to an extent. It's actually a cream soda with a bit of orange, but I would still classify it as a bubble gum flavor, seeing as it tastes almost identical to the artificial bubble gum flavor that we all know and adore. It makes me wonder whether or not this was what Big Red LTD was going for when they created the unique flavor.
It's a somewhat mild flavor, that has an odd bitter aftertaste, which does make some sense, seeing as bubble gum does have that feel to it.
Where's the market for bubble gum flavored soda?
49.9/100

TEXTURE
Big Blue is riddled with high fructose corn syrup, and as a result has a very sticky feeling to it. For some reason it reminds me of a laundromat. Very obvious and non surprising sub par machine grade carbonation here, which is very boring I might add. Also, it goes flat in about a half hour.
Big Blue will leave your lips sticky, and by the time you wash them of it, it's flat.
35/100

DESIGN
Big Red LTD always takes a simple approach to their bottle art, usually only having a splash of whatever color the drink is under the title text. The font used is very boring and reminds me of generic laundry detergent. Something about this always reminds me of laundry for some reason.
Anyways, the art is very dull and tiring. It's just generic product text under a blue splash of liquid. Absolutely invigorating.
25/100

OVERALL
I didn't expect too much, and for good reason. Big Blue has some serious flaws, and I honestly can't think of a good reason to buy it again. Why is this so popular in the southern states? It makes no sense to me.
Big Blue has nothing to offer except for the altered cream soda flavor, which really isn't all that great in the first place.
30/100

SCORE AVERAGE - 35

Topaz Review of SoBe ENERGIZE CITRUS ENERGY

What a rush! Man this damn drink isn't playing around. I'm currently halfway through it, and let me tell you it lives up to the ENERGIZE name. Too bad I have to sit here and write about it instead of putting this energy to great use. I could be running a mile, or.... What am I saying!? That's the SoBe talking ladies and gentlemen. In reality, I'm pleasantly writing this review without a hiccup. On with the show...

Tastiness!
Certainly citrus alone wont make the cut, now will it? Actually, yes. It will. Sort of. You see, the fruit in here is nothing but citrus; orange juice concentrate; lemon juice concentrate; cherry juice concentrate. But wait... That's not much of a citrus fruit now is it? Don't be fooled however, it's simply there to provide an inkling of subtle flavor. If you want the full-on cherry deal, you might want to check out SoBe Courage Cherry Sitrus. Enough of this tomfoolery, get on with it! Okay, okay.
A sip of SoBe ECE contains within it a multitude of potent aromas, as well as vicious citrus flavor. The orange is there, yes, and is complemented very well by the presence of lemon. You don't actually taste cherry flavor, but it does alter the concoction on a minuscule scale. If I were to describe the drink in one word, "Sweet" wouldn't be it. Instead, I would go for something along the lines of "Tangy," or "Zestful." (Which is a word, I might add.) Really, this beverage is obviously not meant to provide the sweetest experience around, hence the citrus ingredients and whatnot. What I'm trying to get across here is don't buy this looking for a sugary good time. Actually, I lied. Since SoBe ECE is sweetened, however lightly with sugar, the previous statement would, in actuality, be true.
80/100 - Delightful

How does it feel?
SoBe ECE has a rather interesting sticky feeling, which appropriately goes along well with the varying array of ingredients. In your mouth however, is solely a matter of opinion. If you enjoy the sensation of phleminess (Which isn't a word I'm afraid) in your mouth, go on your merry way. For the normal person I might suggest something to snack on whist drinking, so that the phlegm doesn't choke you or something.
On occasion, SoBe ECE would slightly burn the back of my throat. Now that is what I call a true citrus beverage extravaganza! If I can even classify one bottle of SoBe as an extravaganza. This only happened twice though, so there's absolutely no reason to be alarmed.
Going down the throat without a hitch, SoBe ECE feels smooth. It has that trademark electric feeling that citrus is famous for. Just dazzling.
75/100 - Remarkable

Does the little bottle look pretty?
Why yes, of course. SoBe is known for being somewhat amazing in their marketing skills when it comes to packaging and design. SoBe ECE is definitely no exception.
Long ago, when the bottle was glass, and the text and pictures were printed directly on it, the design was limited. Since the bottles were glass, SoBe needed to save money on artwork, which was why there wasn't much on them. After a while, SoBe finally decided to switch to plastic, and as a result, the bottles are gratified with the most astounding illustrations. On this particular specimen, I spy a halved orange. No surprise here.. But wait! The circumference is spiked! Even though there is no reason for this, it certainly is a nice touch, and most definitely isn't as strange as the orange, slightly darker orange, green, and slightly lighter green highways that are sprouting from the side of the halved orange. They overlap, and criss-cross one another, and provide a youthful innocence to SoBe ECE. Oh, and of course, there are the obligatory lizards riddled about the art, which are colored correspondingly to the highways.
80/100 - Extravagant

Well, what do you think?
From an unbiased view, I say that SoBe ECE is a delightful energy crossover drink that supplies the desired pep that it was intended to.
From a biased view, I say that SoBe ECE is FREAKIN' AMAZING. But that's just my biased side speaking. (Rest assured that this entire review, excluding the previous sentence, is unbiased.)
If you want a citrus blast, along with a healthy amount of GUARANA and GINSING, this is one of the best beverages you can buy to satisfy those feelings of want. If you don't want it, well, you'd probably buy something else.
85/100 - Unicorn Nectar

SCORE AVERAGE - 80

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Topaz Review of vitaminwater Spark

First off, I have to say that this is my first experience with this particular flavor of vitaminwater. I have tried many other flavors of the same product however, and know what to expect in terms of texture and such. When you boil it down, vitaminwater is all the same, excluding the flavor, which can be similar to other flavors in the same general spectrum. [Ex. Raspberry-Strawberry is very similar to Raspberry-Grape.] With this flavor, I was surprised to find that it was wildly different from any other vitaminwater I've had.

TASTE
Honestly, who thought that combining the distinct, tart flavor of blueberries, and the naturally sweet grape taste would be a good idea? Not me. The two flavors crash horrendously, and together, create a repulsive taste that lingers in the mouth long after the sip was taken. Glacéau could have made it so good, if only they had done it right. It's not pleasant, not a bit. I guess it would be okay to say that this is an aquired taste, but I've yet to aquire it as I can barely force myself to drink one bottle. It oddly reminds me of a nasty old candy that I ate as a child, but don't let this convince you that is the reason for my negativity. Truely, I'm disappointed.
20/100

TEXTURE
As if the taste wasn't bad enough. At first you're tricked into thinking, "Oh it's just another vitaminwater, not surprise here." But when you take your third sip, you start to feel a sickly-smooth sort of sensation, which leaves the feeling of soap bubbles lingering in your mouth long after you've finished the beverage. I suggest some actual water afterwards if you're so inclined to try this is the first place.
35/100

PACKAGING
You know exactly what to expect from Glacéau when it comes to wrappers. Plain and simple, with a witty paragraph printed on the side. (I might add that it's printed upside-down on Spark.) The color of the wrapper usually matches the flavor of the drink. however neither blueberries nor grapes are neon blue. In fact, the color of the actual beverage is a weird pink, which also makes no sense. Glacéau, Glacéau. Oh why Glacéau?
40/100

OVERALL FEELINGS
Whatever you do, don't buy this beverage. In all three categories it fails, and will leave you wounded and defenceless. I wanted a fruity, refreshing drink, but instead I got a bitter, sickening abomination of artifical flavor and coloring. Failure, failure, failure.
25/100

SCORE AVERAGE

30/100